With bold vests, sporty sporrans and tartan purses, it is impossible to confuse Team Scotland with the countless countries in casual tracksuits.
The dark shirts have a touch of the Edinburgh nightclub bouncer about them, but the overall effect is inviting rather than intimidating.
With other countries’ uniforms sprinting towards athleticism and relaxed silhouettes, Australia’s blazers, ties, skirts and scarves continued our longstanding tradition of athletes entering the stadium looking like prefects from a private school.
The RM Williams boots, a first for many athletes, were worn with pride, and the green of the blazers was smartly subdued but the bright yellow ties and scarves had a whiff of discount airline about them.
The most exciting part of the uniform was the unexpected flashes of lining by queer Indigenous artist Jenna Lee.
Upstaging Prince Charles’ tailored suits is an accomplishment that neither Princes William nor Harry have managed, so congratulations to Team Cameroon.
In traditional attire using the red, yellow and green of the Cameroon flag, with some athletes transforming the flag into headscarves, the athletes looked ready to party rather than partake in powerlifting.
Expect influencers unaware of the pitfalls of cultural appropriation to be adding this to their dream board for next year’s Splendour In The Grass.
Rivalling the popularity of the character Ness from the series Gavin & Stacey, the Welsh are known for their love of music, which seeped into the marching band-style uniforms worn by the country’s athletes.
With navy suits dominated by pointed power shoulders, dragons perched on jackets and pins of Welsh gold, the uniforms were loaded with eye-raising symbolism.
“Overall, the design is something that is very Welsh and includes many Welsh symbols and colours that represent Wales,” says designer Julien Macdonald, a favourite of Liz Hurley and Kylie Minogue. “It’s something that I’ve really enjoyed doing and, obviously, I’ve added a touch of Julien Macdonald glamour.”
The result is more Glee than gladiatorial, but points are scored for the unisex ties. Those same points are withdrawn for the sensible heels given to some female athletes.
The bone shorts and black shirts worn by Team Lesotho, the landlocked country encircled by South Africa, were unremarkable but their accessories game was strong.
While the beads and necklaces worn by Kenya’s female athletes immediately catch the eye, it’s the inclusivity of Team Lesotho’s hats that pushes them up the fashion medal ladder.
Athletes proudly wore the national symbol the mokorotlo, a conical straw hat inspired by Mount Qiloane, which elevated their uniforms to peak fashion.
Perhaps it’s time for Australia to dust off the Akubra.
As the birthplace of activewear, with Lululemon founded in Vancouver, and a country where cannabis is legalised, the Canadian athletes looked seriously relaxed in their black tracksuits, red T-shirts and white sneakers.
The outfits were designed by Kukri Sports North America but some Lululemon tights or even boxy T-shirts from rising Canadian sportswear brand Reigning Champ would have added impact to the look. This could have been the Mounties on training day.
There is a strong gender divide between the uniforms worn by Team South Africa. In a print by young designers Sandile Sikhakhane, Mbali Zulu, Sipho Lushaba and Nompumelelo Mjadu, the male athletes resembled lost cruise ship staff in their short-sleeved shirts.
Durban designer Nontsasa Benstwana, who used the print, had greater success with the tiered maxi skirts and full white blouses of the women’s uniforms. The women of Team South Africa looked ready for a smart brunch while the men were prepared to pour the bottomless mimosas.
Coco Chanel managed to build a design empire using just black and white, but with the same palette Team New Zealand’s uniforms had all the excitement of a two-day-old lamington.
The men’s suits, worn with plain white T-shirts could be a cry for help from a country that has not figured out what to wear back to the office after lockdown.
The women’s uniforms would be great behind the counter at David Jones.
With such incredible designers such as Karen Walker, Kate Sylvester, Wynn Hamlyn and Maggie Hewitt from Maggie Marilyn, there’s no excuse for making black this basic.
If you can’t go nude like the Greeks at the original Olympics, we will have to settle for Tonga’s oiled-up shirtless flag bearer.
Brad Pitt has some stiff competition here in how to make a skirt look masculine.
The rest of the team’s uniforms are just fine but are you really looking? We are talking about athleticism here rather than objectification.
Get all the latest news from the Birmingham Commonwealth Games here. We’ll be live blogging the action from 4pm to 10am daily.